How does that make you feel?
by 10thandrose
Summary: At Henry and Mike's behest, Vicki goes to a psychiatrist.
1. Chapter 1

How does that make you feel?

At Henry and Mike's behest, Vicki goes to see a psychologist.

Disclaimer: I don't own, well, anything.

The idea made me chuckle. Hope it does the same for you.

As Vicki walked into the plush office, she spied a man, fortyish and handsome, if a bit frazzled looking.

"So, Victoria Nelson, I'm Dr. Lawrence. Pleased to meet you," he said as he turned in his chair.

"Vicki. Thanks. I'm gonna be honest with you, I was blackmailed into coming here..." Vicki said as she plopped down on the leather chaise.

"You'd be surprised how often that happens," he replied with a smirk. "Was it your mother or significant other?"

"Well, they act like the first and think they're the second."

"Excuse me?"

"Henry and Mike. They made me come," replied Vicki. "They're afraid that I'm repressing everything that's happened over the last several months. They seem to be forgetting that I'm just like this," she said as if this explained everything.

"Perhaps if you tell me a bit of what's happened to cause the men in your life to suggest a psychiatric evaluation?"

"Oh, this last year has been about fate trying to make me its bitch," she countered cryptically.

"Um... Well... Victoria, do you care to elaborate?" Dr. Lawrence asked writing furiously in his notebook.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Vicki. And what did I say that was so damn interesting?"

"I just find it intriguing Ms. Nelson-"

"VICKI!"

"-that you, an independent woman, don't consider yourself in control of your own destiny."

"Oh, I am!" she retorted, "but there's this guy Astoroth, he gave me these," she said exposing the demon brands on her wrists.

"This Astoroth, he's your tattoo artist?" the doctor asked quizzically, "or does your relationship hold a more intimate component as well?"

"He wishes," snorted Vicki. "He's been practically stalking me for a year... Not to mention all his friends are coming out of the woodwork."

"Who are these friends you speak of?"

"Lets see, first there was Norman, who tried to make my assistant his demon bride, a vampire hunting priest, a bug woman, a super vampire ex, some Pandora's Box-toting lunatics that killed Mike, not to mention I had to make a deal with the devil, as Henry puts it, to save my undead associate from having his soul eaten by an Incan mummy bent on world domination, there's more but I think at this point it'd be redundant to mention it."

"I'm sorry Vicki, our time is up for today," Dr. Lawrence said as the timer buzzed. "But I look forward to seeing you again on Tuesday. Is your ride here?"

"Yeah, Henry's in the lobby."

As Dr. Lawrence ushered Vicki out of the room, he pulled Henry aside. "I don't want to alarm you, but I believe that Ms. Nelson's trauma cannot be solved by psychoanalysis alone. Her trauma has progressed to full on hallucinations. She appears lucid enough to function normally, but if therapy and medications are unsuccessful as treatment, hospitalization may be necessary," he said in hushed, worried tones.

Henry simply smirked, "It took you a whole hour to figure that out." Chuckling to himself, he put his hand on the small of Vicki's back and led her to the car.

"What's so funny?" she asked indignantly.

"Nothing, dear."

Next Tuesday...

"So, Vicki, tell me about your mother..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Once again, I own nothing. Well, in my dreams... but we won't go there. **

**BTW Spoilers for the books, Vicki's only joking, but she does vaguely mention her mother's fate.**

"I'm sorry for the interruption, Vicki, where were we?"

"Well, you were asking about my mother, and I was about to say there wasn't enough time in the world to discuss her."

"Really, Vicki, because generally strong, independent women such as yourself-"

"Bitches," Vicki supplied, not offended.

"...Strong, independent women feel strong ties to their mothers. I imagine that is one of the places from which they draw their strength of will."

"Doc, how long will we go at this till you understand, I'm just like this," Vicki said, exasperated.

"Vicki, you admitted even Henry and Mike don't believe you're 'just like this.' And you also admit to speaking with your mother, Maureen is it? on a pretty much daily basis. Why is that do you think?"

"You know, I'm getting very offended. Seriously, it took an hour of me shouting to coax you into using my first name, and yet you have no compunction using Mike, Henry and now mom's. What the f?" Vicki asked in an effort to misdirect.

"I could call you Ms Nelson, if you'd prefer," Dr. Lawrence countered.

"Don't you start that again. I have a baton and I'm not afraid to use it," Vicki threatened, not entirely in jest.

"Well, that's one thing we can cross off our list," smiling, Dr. Lawrence made a note in his notebook.

"Huh?"

"I am pleased to report that you have no problem at all with unexpressed anger. Now, misdirected rage, well, we'll see where that takes us, but there is at least one emotion you are not afraid to feel in full doses, and that is anger," he replied.

"You know Doc, while we're on the topic of things that are not my problem, you should really talk to my undead associate... he seems to think it's totally okay to practice psychotherapy without a license. He's always trying to get me to talk about my feelings," Vicki said making a face.

"That must be awful for you," Dr. Lawrence said sarcastically, "and don't think I've forgotten the original topic of discussion for today..."

"Jerk. Okay, well, mom is ... mom is mom I guess. I mean she calls all the time. She's nosy as hell, which she rationalizes as caring about me. She really wants me to marry Mike and have lots of babies."

"And that's distasteful to you? Why? Most women your age-"

"Watch it Doc!" she warned.

"-would be seriously considering slowing down, maybe starting a family. Do you feel it's wrong to desire those things?" he continued to probe.

"No. They're just wrong for me. Let's be honest Doc, in 5, 10 years tops, I'll be walking blind and I refuse to be a charity case to anyone. Although, I'll tell you, I did get some sick pleasure out of shocking mom with the information that I was 'with' both Mike and Henry," Vicki admitted with a wicked smirk.

"Slightly sadistic, bordering on defiant," Dr. Lawrence mumbled again picking up his pen.

"Come on Doc, you know she's mom... she drives me crazy, no pun intended, but it's not like she's a zombie shuffling around the Royal Ontario Museum trying to find me. I mean, it could totally be worse," Vicki said honestly. "And she is a good mom. She was strong even when my dad left, and she cared for me the best way she knew how."

"Well Vicki, that brings me to our next topic, you are a raging commitment-phobe. I'd like to discuss why you refuse to allow either Mike or Henry to have a more important stake in your life," Dr. Lawrence began.

"Whoops," Vicki interjected as the timer buzzed, "looks like we're out of time!"

"That's my line. See you on Tuesday?"

"Of course, but only if you stop letting Mike and Henry tell you what subjects they want you to pump me for information on," Vicki said leaving the office.


	3. Chapter 3

"Welcome back Vicki. So I believe that today we were supposed to discuss your fear of intimacy and commitment," Dr. Lawrence said looking over his notes.

"Um, let's not and say we did. I really don't feel that fear of intimacy is a bad thing," she smirked.

"Now I'm curious, when I spoke to Norman last week, he mentioned that you said some pretty interesting things to him when you thought he was Henry..." Dr. Lawrence began.

"He's a liar, who consorts with the demon who wants to have my babies... I don't think he's the most credible witness. Besides I refuse to admit any such thing," Vicki countered.

"Regardless, what do you think is the reason for your fear of intimacy?"

"Habit mostly," she deflected.

"Seriously Vicki, did you ever even begin to process the pain your father inflicted on you when he left your mother? It wasn't your fault, and cognitively you know that, but somehow, holding those you care about at bay seems to be a longstanding self defense mechanism. Maybe it's not your father's betrayal at all. Perhaps you just feel torn. Am I hitting a nerve yet?" he asked.

"Sticking the knife in isn't enough for you, huh? You're one of those, 'hold on a minute so I can twist it around' sort of people... Sick," Vicki said shaking her head.

"Look Vicki, you can't have it both ways. Both these men love you, and put to it, they'd probably share you rather than lose you completely, but you won't even give them that option. You can't accuse them of leaving you, when, figuratively speaking, you never showed up in the first place," Dr. Lawrence said.

"Who are you telling? This is not about holding them at arms length... I mean that may be what's happening, but I genuinely care about both of them. I know I should let it go, but I can't. I'm just like this," she said her humor fading.

"Vicki, do you trust Henry or Mike?" Dr. Lawrence asked.

"Both of them. With my life," she said with conviction. "I remember, this case with a crazy mother killing the ones who arrested her son, when this judge asked me why he should trust Henry, I replied "because I trust him with my life," "You do? You do. Thank you," Henry said, as shocked as me at the declaration."

"And has either ever disappointed you?" he continued.

"Not once. I've screwed up a lot, but they have never let me down," she admitted truthfully.

"Trust is one of the most basic parts of love. If you can trust them with your life, why can't you trust them with your heart? Why can't you, as you put it, 'just let go'?"

"I... I don't know," she admitted, "because I'll fall."

"You will. But they'll catch you."

"You realize I'm invoking Patient-Client privilege here, whatever you say to Henry and Mike, this goes no further than THIS ROOM! Remember, we've already established my total acceptance of anger?" Vicki threatened.

"I remember it well, Vicki, and they only ask because they worry about you, but if you feel so strongly, I will remain mum about this conversation."

"Okay, well, I haven't told either of them, but of course I love them. They're punks, but they're perfect. I just can't help it that I'm emotionally anorexic. I love them the best way I know how, and if that's not good enough, I'm sorry. I wouldn't judge either of them if they walked out and never came back. But I'm doing the best I can with what I've got," she said.

"You admit, though, that you do love them? That's a big step for you. I think we can go from there. In fact, over the next two weeks I'd like to have a session with you and Henry, and you and Mike. I think, for our purposes, it would be invaluable," Dr. Lawrence explained.

"You sure, not all of us at the same time. I mean, your office would probably never recover, but we could put it on pay-per-view and make a fortune," she grinned. "Who first, Mike or Henry?"

"Well, I'd say bring the most easily offended one first, no need to cause hurt feelings and all that, but knowing you, you'll probably do just the opposite."

"Why don't I just surprise you?" she asked.

"That's fine Vicki, I'll see you in a week."

**Now, I don't care who goes first, but if you do, then review and tell me. ;)**

**I know, I'm an attention whore. Get over it.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I still own nothing. Sorry it took an extra day. I had a German test. : ( Anyway, Mike won 3-1. Henry is next.**

"So I really don't know why I'm here," said the good Detective.

"He doesn't _do_ feelings," Vicki explained.

"Are _all_ your friends this way?" Dr. Lawrence asked Vicki, rubbing the bridge of his nose, the same way she does when aggravated.

"No. You'll love Henry..." Vicki began.

"Wait, the bloodsucker is coming? I'm over this. I'll see you later," Mike readying himself to leave.

"No," Vicki laughs, "You don't think we're under the impression that this office could survive you both at the same time. Henry's next week."

"Oh," Mike replies, giving himself a mental pat on the back for winning a contest he didn't even know he was in. He made a mental note to ask later why Vicki asked him first.

"So Mike, how would you describe the dynamics of yours and Vicki's relationship?" Dr. Lawrence asked.

"Can I be frank?" Mike asks looking at both before continuing, "I don't really know. I mean it was really great while she was on the force, and then it was nonexistent for a year, and then it started looking up again, and then I hear that she's playing red-cross to a 500 year old bloodsucking teenager."

"Now Mike be fair, he doesn't look like a teenager, 22 at least," Vicki interjected.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, and besides I wasn't referring to his looks... I was referring to the massive amount of supernatural drama he has brought on our heads. I mean sure he's good looking, but seriously, Vic," he said looking directly at her, "when did that start mattering more than the guy's character or, in the Prince of Darkness's case, lack thereof."

"You think that's why Henry and I are friends?" Vicki asked seriously.

"I didn't say you were friends," he answered sarcastically.

"We are friends, and nothing more, because I trust him. And he hasn't let me down, a lot like another partner I had," Vicki replied.

"I have a sneaking suspicion this argument has been going on for months. And you are no closer to a conclusion?" Dr. Lawrence asked. As they both nodded in the affirmative, once again he rubbed the bridge of his nose and under his breath murmured, "I need an aspirin."

Out loud, Dr. Lawrence began, "I see we aren't getting far this way. I would like to try something. In my profession they call it roleplaying-"

"Vic, I don't know what kind of doctor this guy is but I'm not putting on a costume with any _important parts_ missing," Mike said indignantly.

"Not like that," Dr. Lawrence explained, "Vicki, you be Mike. Mike, you be Vicki. Pretend I'm not here, and we'll see what happens. Vicki, ask Mike a question that he might ask you, and you both carry on the conversation as if you are the other person."

"Um, okay, so, Vic, you wanna go out for Chinese?" Vicki began.

"I'm sorry Mike, my best friend in the world who would never try to drink my blood, I have a date with the bloodsucker that will culminate in the exchange of bodily fluids," Mike said in a falsetto.

"FOUL!" Vicki yelled.

"Yes, Mike, she's right, you have to be Vicki, and Vicki would call him Henry, not the bloodsucker, and also, there really is no 'exchange' per se, more like a donation... like your red cross comment earlier," Dr. Lawrence admonished.

"That's _all_ you have to say to him?" Vicki asked astonished.

"Well his responses tell how he feels about the way you'd answer. So, no. Continue."

"Um, okay, Vic, that means I get the day right, since, we're taking shifts, never mind that you're exhausted, I'll pick you up tomorrow at 6... You don't need any sleep right?" Vicki said in a much lower voice.

"No, I'm much more interested in stringing both you and Henry along," Mike said disgustedly, still in falsetto.

"That's cool, because I'll just make you feel worse for hanging with both of us, even though, I wear my lucky tie when I go out with Kate, because she's hot."

Vicki, drops the imitation of his voice to shout at him with her own, "How can you even sit there and judge me when it's _beyond clear_ that you've moved on?"

"Because I love you!" Mike shouted.

"I know, but it's not like that anymore, why are we clinging so tight to something that never worked in the first place," she asked softly.

"Because we were happy," Mike replied simply. "Because of this all-or-nothing bullshit that forced us to give up our friendship when our relationship stopped working."

"It's your fault, and even if it's not, I'm still blaming you for it," she said jokingly.

"Yeah, back at you," Mike replied. "So, what now?" he asked.

"Now you're in good shape to have a healthy, supportive friendship," Dr. Lawrence said. "Everyone believes that soul mates are lovers, but really soul mates are friends. Sometimes those relationships turn romantic, but the best are the friendships that follow us throughout our lives. Now we're about out of time, but if there's anything else you want to say _to_ each other or _as_ each other, by all means."

"No, Doc, I'm exhausted. This is gonna sound crazy," she said looking at Mike, "but I could really use some Chinese."

Laughing out loud, Mike replied, "Sure, at this point the damage is done."

**So I have an idea for Henry and Vic's appt, that I think will send Vic into a tailspin, but if you would prefer I make them roleplay like Mike and Vic did, that's fine... although I think my idea will be funnier. Review and let me know, remember, I'm an attention whore.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I own, well, still nothing. pouts BTW, I'm taking reviewer's excellent suggestion... You know who you are. That said, I'm not totally thrilled with this chapter. If ya'll think anything needs to be changed, I'm willing to amend. : )**

"Hello Henry, Vicki," Dr. Lawrence welcomed.

"Hello, Dr. Lawrence," Henry replied.

"Well, I'd like for us to get started right away, Vicki you're familiar with this, we are going to roleplay, Henry you are Vicki and Vicki you are Henry. Vicki you can start the conversation as Henry."

"So Victoria, you wanted me to accompany you to a crime scene? You do consider me your personal bloodhound," Vicki lightly, as Henry began.

"Of course, Henry, if you are able. You know, I only confuse you with a bloodhound, after all, because your olfactory senses are heightened, you could help me look for clues. But I don't want to impose," Henry as Vicki replied a bit too politely.

"No, I grabbed a bite on the way over, we can go now if you like, are you warm enough, do you need a jacket, you know the cold doesn't bother the undead?" Vicki continued baiting Henry, desperate to crack another joke, but not sure how Henry-as-herself would reply.

"Okay," said Dr. Lawrence, "I can see this is not getting us very far. I should have realized Henry's sensibilities would keep him from being rude, even if it's warranted," Dr. Lawrence looked pointedly at Vicki.

"Let's try something else." He motioned for Henry and Vicki to stand, as they did so, he moved their chairs from diagonal to facing each other, and a bit closer than Vicki would have liked. "Okay, both of you sit. This is a trust exercise. Okay now lean toward each other, your knees, foreheads and hands should be touching."

At this point Vicki looks up and groans, "You must be kidding, did he pay you or something? It's not enough that he already wants to flash his fangs at me, no, you have to put him in contact with most of my major arteries."

"Vicki," Henry began, clearly offended, "Do not feign belief that I would do anything that you did not welcome," he said, losing a bit of his princely stature as he gazed longingly at her neck.

"Oh yeah, except all that sexual harassment."

"I've explained, I am a sexual advance. I don't gripe that you're emotionally anorexic," Henry defended. "And no, Dr. Lawrence didn't tell me that one, Detective Celluci did. Take that up with him," Henry answered Vicki's obvious confusion.

"That's all I need," Vicki grumbled, "those two punks ganging up on me." Turning to look at Dr. Lawrence, "Do you see what you caused? Now look at what I have to live with."

"Vicki, you've admitted trust issues. This will put you close enough that you can monitor Henry's reactions while you speak to one another. He knows how your heart beat and breathing change when you speak of different subjects, this levels the playing field a bit," the good doctor explained.

"Sure, except that he has no vitals to monitor. So all we're really doing is making Henry hungry, not to mention that he's practically two fangs from my jugular," Vicki continued to gripe.

Noticing her discomfort, Henry leaned forward a bit, so that her back was straighter. He held her hands resting on their knees. This silent attempt to comfort her did not escape Dr. Lawrence's observation.

"Alright, I'm going to ask a series of questions and I want you to answer honestly. Henry can answer first and Vicki you can answer when he is finished. First question, what is your favorite memory of Vicki, something that always makes you smile?" Dr. Lawrence started.

"I think the times when she sleeps and I get to lay beside her. In her sleep, she'll reach for me, and she's vulnerable, reachable. It takes my breath away," Henry said, short of breath.

Looking at Vicki's surprise, Dr. Lawrence said, "Vicki?"

"When we defeated Norman, both times actually, but especially the first. I felt like we could do anything. In that moment, I would have believed there was no adversary we couldn't take. Together, we were unstoppable."

Henry smiled, "That was a good day. Remember what I said to you that night, the first time we sent Norman to hell? "

"You're a part of me now," Vicki whispered. It was hard to be this close to Henry, to look into his hazel eyes and not feel the pull of his charm, the rush of emotion.

"Ahem," Dr. Lawrence interrupted. "Next question, what memory do you wish you could change or had never happened entirely?"

Henry's eyes darkened, "When she stabbed me. I can still feel the pain in the pit of my stomach, but not from the sword. From the betrayal the sword represents."

Vicki closed her eyes against his stare, "Same. Henry, I hate that I did that to you. I just... I couldn't... How could I watch you die? Even at the expense of myself, I just couldn't--" Vicki's voice trailed off.

"I know, can I just ask how much of it, was Vicki Nelson's refusal to owe me anything?" Henry asked painfully.

She averted her eyes, "You know how I am, but even so, very little."

"Next question, and I'm afraid last, we're almost out of time. Tell each other your favorite thing about them. And Vicki, I'd like you to go first. Let someone else have the last word for once," Dr. Lawrence said with a smirk.

"You put up with me," Vicki said simply. "And I can count on you to be down for some breaking and entering, you don't hog the Chinese food, you don't snore, and you look at me adoringly when you don't think I'm watching" Vicki said blushing. "Yep, you're pretty much the perfect man."

Henry tilted his head and said sheepishly, "You give me too much credit." He took a deep, unnecessary breath and began, "You are everything good about humanity." At her disbelieving stare he continued, "You feel protective toward everyone, you are so brave, strong willed, you don't let anything get in your way. You are the reason I have hope." Concluding, he pretended no to notice the unexpected sheen in her eyes.

Henry and Vicki noticed Dr. Lawrence standing and followed suit.

"It has been a pleasure," Henry said, shaking his hand.

Henry and Vicki walked out together, and she pretended she didn't notice they were still holding hands.

**You know I love you all, but I'm still an attention whore. You know what to do.**


End file.
